Why it’s so easy to feel negative all the time

Why it’s so easy to feel negative all the time

Some days, it’s so easy to be sad, feel negative, and lose hope. Some days, it feels as if all the happiness has vanished from your life. You find it VERY DIFFICULT to even muster a smile. But… why? :(  

1. “But everyone else seems SO HAPPY!”

Morning. Open eyes. Reach for phone. Squint. Scroll. So apparently last night there was a reunion you weren’t invited to. Also last night, your happily-married friends had the “best date night EVERRRR!!!!”. Someone else got promoted at work. And what’s that? Skydiving, again? How do they afford neverending vacations?

You wonder how everybody else is SO HAPPY; they all seem to have things under control. 

We tend to think of ourselves as the ONLY ONES struggling. But you know that’s NOT TRUE – it’s irrational to think that way. When you give in to irrational thoughts, it’s easy to feel unnecessarily envious or jealous of others; you may even get ANGRY at yourself for not leading an equally awesome life. What you may not realise is, your friends are NOT who they POST. You and I, we all struggle. NOBODY is free from problems!      Continue reading

Why are we constantly angry and resentful?

Why are we constantly angry and resentful?

Everyone gets angry. Some experience anger more intensely, or more often, than others. No matter the frequency of your anger, it’s a negative experience that disrupts harmony. It’s akin to shouldering a burden; the longer we carry this burden, the heavier it feels. To break free from the burden of your anger and resentment, look within yourself.

1. We choose NOT to communicate our feelings.

We harbour anger and resentment and let those build up within us. We choose NOT to communicate our feelings. Because “Why should I speak first?” Because we think we are always right, we are the “victims”, or we have been treated badly first. Because the first to speak, “loses”. We end up either ignoring the other party or treating them in a negative manner because we feel that our anger and resentment are justified. This behaviour is ego-driven. We fail to consider the other party’s point of view, or a possible explanation for their behaviour. The situation will NOT resolve itself. In choosing not to communicate our feelings, we continue to be trapped in a vicious cycle of negativity and anger, a cycle of OUR OWN CREATION, controlled by our ego.
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Your ego makes you an awful person.

Your ego makes you an awful person.

It does.

In my previous post, I wrote about how your ego makes you unhappy. [Whilst you’re at it, you may want to read about how social media makes you unhappy too.] Our behaviour is a result of our experiences. We remember things that have happened to us – things which elicit specific responses. When we encounter the same things again, we naturally respond the same way; it’s like a reflex. We may not realise that our ego has conditioned us to behave this way. Is your ego making you an awful person instead?   

1. Your ego drives your anger.

When someone is nasty to us, we tend to retort in anger. In the first place, they were rude to us when we did nothing to offend them. We feel wounded, insulted; we take offense. In an act of self-defense, we react in anger. That’s how we justify this ego-driven anger

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Is your ego making you unhappy?

Is your ego making you unhappy?

Is happiness a choice? If it is, then why do we choose to be unhappy?

If happiness is not a choice, then is it a feeling, an attitude, a perspective, a result of our actions, a state of mind, a journey?

It is, and it isn’t.

Whilst we all have varying views on what “happiness” is, I’m going to focus on one possible root of unhappiness – our ego.

I ponder a lot. As I approach the end of my life (aren’t we all?), I’ve been giving happiness a lot more thought. Ego thrives on control, power, validation. Because ego is insecure, it often lies to us so that we will do what it wants to keep it alive.    

In seeking to fulfill ego’s demands, we become unhappy. 

1. Constantly worrying about the future.

I’ve always been a planner, a creature of routine and habit. For everything I do, I like to have something drawn up; a plan to follow; even better, a fixed routine. I get worried if I don’t. What I didn’t realise is this – my behaviour could stem from a need for control. So I often think of and wonder about tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, I think of the day after tomorrow. Planning ahead is good, having a routine is great, but obsessing is not cool. There has to be a balance. By trying to control everything, I’m actually controlling nothing.    
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Why I needed a social media detox

It’s been 2 MONTHS since I last blogged. Still alive. Ha ha. The reason for my silence is this –> SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX.

One of the BEST things I’ve ever done for myself.

I can prolly write a book about the wonderful things this social media detox has done for me, but I plan to break it up into a series of posts instead.

Today, I’m just going to focus on WHY I needed a social media detox.

#1. I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings.

My hands and eyes were constantly glued to my mobile phone. Even when I eat, am in the midst of conversations, walk, commute, cross roads. I found myself constantly scrolling through my feed, checking for notifications, catching up on EVERYONE ELSE’S LIVES but my own.

I asked myself:

When I’m eating, am I TASTING my food, or merely WOLFING IT ALL DOWN?

When I’m with my friends, am I interacting MEANINGFULLY, or simply nodding and smiling WITHOUT LISTENING, then asking them to REPEAT themselves for the 5th time?

When I’m walking, do I SEE where I’m going, or am I too busy REPLYING TO COMMENTS?

When I’m crossing the road, am I WATCHING OUT for cars? Do I notice the SPEEDING BIKE heading towards me?

Am I MINDFUL, or have I become a PHONE ZOMBIE?

Until the social media detox, I was a PHONE ZOMBIE.

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10 office situations wherein your boss doesn’t think very well of you

SO YOU THINK YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU? Why, because you’re good at time management, keep a lookout for your colleagues, maintain work-life balance, and always offer help? Well… unfortunately (for you), your behaviour irks your boss. Yep. You get on people’s nerves. Find out 10 office situations wherein your boss doesn’t think very well of you.

Your colleagues hate you for the same reasons.
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"10 office situations wherein your boss doesn't think very well of you"

It’s the weekend, by the way. So don’t spoil market OK? ;P xx J 

If you’re constantly beating yourself up, you NEED to read this.

I JUST GAVE BIRTH TO MYSELF AGAIN LAST MONTH. I say “again” cos I like to think that my first rebirth happened on 16 July 2012 when I began my weight loss journey. So much has changed on my outside since 2012 (I even kena STOMPED last month!), but so much MORE has changed in my INSIDE.

I’M A NEW PERSON, GUYZ.
In fact, you may already know.

Even as I write this now, I still have not recovered from my shock and amazement at the new person I’ve become. I simply changed ONE THOUGHT. That was all it took.

I’d been stuck in a rut for the longest time. I don’t quite know how to describe it, but it seemed to me like I was caught in a neverending cycle of meh. A cycle wherein I was lost and confused, and had zero idea if I was doing the right stuff to get me where I wanna go.

I wasn’t exactly “aimless” per se; I had goals, right! So I knew where I wanted to be. It’s just that I wasn’t sure how I was advancing – or if what I’d been doing even helped me AT ALL.  

It was like driving through a thick, heavy fog – yes, I had the GPS with my destination programmed in (i.e. having my “goals” mapped out), but as I drove I saw nothing but a white curtain all around me. If there was a crossing pedestrian, a deer, a cyclist – I couldn’t see. Even if the GPS somehow warned me, I wouldn’t know where to swerve cos everything was just a white curtain to me.

By sheer miracle, the Universe somehow got its message across to me. All I did was make ONE TWEAK – I changed ONE THOUGHT – and I saw remarkable improvement – the way I feel, the way I perform, the way I see myself? EVERYTHING CHANGED.

“I AM ENOUGH.”

The result = Me.
A much, MUCH HAPPIER VERSION OF ME.
I am so at peace with myself now, my surroundings, everyone around me.
There’s no need for resentment, hatred, anger, sadness.
There’s no room for negativity or unhappiness.
There’s no time to be wasted – not a single second – spent on unnecessary emotions, thoughts, actions…
which do not do anything to serve my advancement.

I know how insane this can sound to you, but I have TRULY been reborn again. TRULY. I’m so grateful to the Universe for sending this message to me; since the day I received it, I never looked back. (By the way, I do not usually sound this crazy, I swear.) This change is a miraculous experience, and I’m so ever thankful, I feel so blessed, and I can only look towards an even better future now.

If you’ve ever beat yourself up, if you’re still constantly beating yourself up,
I’m sending you this message now:
YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I wish I could make you feel the same way I did when I finally, finally understood this message, to make you stop beating yourself up, to make you a NEW YOU. It’s a feeling that can’t be communicated in words. It’s almost ethereal.  

1-9-2016

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The 42Race 21-Day Challenge: How I ran 400KM and earned my first pair of GOLDEN WINGS!

HI GUYZ! Today I share with you something that means a lot to me – MY FIRST PAIR OF GOLDEN WINGS!!!!

TA-DAA!! Aren’t they absolutely GORGEOUS??!?

HEY GUYZ!!!! I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT!!!! I GOT MY GOLDEN WINGS!!!! 👼🏻👼🏻🙀🙀🙀🙀ERRMAHGERD they're so so so SUPER GORGEOUS and way LARGER than I imagined! 😻😻😻😻 This photo DOES NOT do them any justice bc they're so much shinier and more gold and beautiful IRL. 🙌🏻✨💛💛 AHHHH I LOVES IT. I pinned them on my training bag pronto. ✌🏻️ I also got my prize for being amongst the Top 3 Most Inspirational runners – this @compressport visor! 😸 I gift this prize to @skye_ming. 😆🎁 My wish is for him to wear it and be reminded of the importance of consistent training, of us running and soaring together! 💪🏻💪🏻 Along with my prize and wings, the organisers wrote me a congratulatory card for ranking #1 🏆- such a sweet gesture! 💌 THANK YOU so much @42raceasia for everything. I'm honoured, elated, and humbled to have completed this challenge. 😸 I've always believed in setting goals and having an aim in life – my original target for this challenge was 100K, but I hit 406.08KM at the end of it – FOUR FREAKIN' TIMES OVER! 😜

A photo posted by I am a very cute girl. (@jadeisabelle) on

I earned them from completing the 21-Day Challenge organised by 42Race. And guess what? I ranked #1 out of 849 challengers! :O

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“I’ll like myself if I were 10kg lighter!”

A couple of days back, I received yet another weight loss blog award, this time from Belly Fat Formula for making it to their TOP 100 MOST INSPIRATIONAL WEIGHT LOSS BLOGS OF 2016! And this is what they wrote about me:

“Singapore based blogger Jade has successfully maintained a loss of 20 kilograms. Her blog documents her remarkable weight loss over the course of one year and how she maintained it. The blog started out as a beauty site, but has evolved to include health, exercise and running, alongside fashion and lifestyle topics.”

Nice one guys! Thank you. :)

There’s something else I’d like to address in today’s post – that is… if I could tell you ONE SUPER IMPORTANT THING my weight loss journey taught me, it’s this:

“YOU GOTTA LIKE YOURSELF RIGHT FROM THE START.”

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll like myself if I were 10kg lighter!”, “I’d be so pretty if I lost 5kg!”, or “Maybe everyone will accept me once I’m thin!”….

You REALLY GOTTA change your perspective.

Yes, if you’re overweight, try to get into the healthy, recommended weight range for you. Along with that, you’ll probably also experience numerous other benefits like I did. I said goodbye to chicken skin, lethargy, and other problems I had to deal with when I was overweight. 

BUT physical effects aside, you gotta target your MENTAL too. After all, your thoughts affect your feelings, which affect your actions, which affect your results. I wish I realised that earlier. Really.

What happened with me was, I didn’t like the way I looked, so I decided to make a lifestyle change. I mean, duh. I did my research, I took steps to embark on a better lifestyle, I cultivated new, permanent good habits, blah blah blah… Right? But what I didn’t realise back when I started, was I should have paid attention to the way I THOUGHT of myself. I believed what the others told me, growing up, that I wasn’t good enough.

Honestly, I grew up thinking that way cos it was what I was brought up to think! It took me SO, FREAKING, LONG to realise that what they said, their opinions? That I was FAT, UGLY, USELESS? Those are all meaningless and do not in any way determine MY VALUE as a person. I admit, those comments got me aware that I needed to do something about my weight, and now I HAVE done something about that already. But there’s another part that I sorted out recently – the mental part – once I addressed that, I became SO SUPER HAPPY.

What I’m trying to tell you now is: You ARE good enough. Like yourself, no matter which part of your journey you’re currently at. Like yourself NOW.

Once you start liking yourself, you’ll realise:

  • you’re NOT doing this for anyone else – it’s FOR YOU;
  • you’ve gained SELF RESPECT;
  • you’re taking RESPONSIBILITY for your body;
  • you WANT to TAKE CARE of you;
  • you want to become BETTER than you were yesterday; and ultimately,
  • you’re HAPPY!

"The 100 Most Inspirational Weight Loss Blogs of 2016"

Think about it. If you’re on a weight loss journey too, I want you to know that you’re as valuable now as you will be when you’ve hit your target weight. Believe me. xx J

I died in August.

AHHH… AUGUST. My birth month. Like all the other months before, it went by so quickly. I’m not complaining though – cos after August left, September brought a whole new revelation with it. And a new me – a rebirth! I shall write to you about that when I review September. For now, I’ll say that I died in August. Oh, the irony! 

There were several highlights during August:

So yep, 3 races in a month, bumped into some friends, got a couple of birthday surprises, all the while living unaware that I was going to die and be reborn in September. August – these topics kept recurring in my life: self-acceptanceself-love, and personal development, all lumped together in CONFUSION. 

I didn’t know what my destination was as I groped around trying to find my way in the fog.
I didn’t know what the outcome would be, if I continued to lose my way.
I didn’t know how to search for what I truly wanted.
I didn’t know what to do at all.

But in September it was all revealed to me.

1-8-2016

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