Why it’s so easy to feel negative all the time
Some days, it’s so easy to be sad, feel negative, and lose hope. Some days, it feels as if all the happiness has vanished from your life. You find it VERY DIFFICULT to even muster a smile. But… why? :(
1. “But everyone else seems SO HAPPY!”
Morning. Open eyes. Reach for phone. Squint. Scroll. So apparently last night there was a reunion you weren’t invited to. Also last night, your happily-married friends had the “best date night EVERRRR!!!!”. Someone else got promoted at work. And what’s that? Skydiving, again? How do they afford neverending vacations?
You wonder how everybody else is SO HAPPY; they all seem to have things under control.
We tend to think of ourselves as the ONLY ONES struggling. But you know that’s NOT TRUE – it’s irrational to think that way. When you give in to irrational thoughts, it’s easy to feel unnecessarily envious or jealous of others; you may even get ANGRY at yourself for not leading an equally awesome life. What you may not realise is, your friends are NOT who they POST. You and I, we all struggle. NOBODY is free from problems!
2. “I’M PATHETIC!!!!!”
SIGH. Today is yet another dreadful day. I’ve got bills to pay, mouths to feed. That’s why I must work. My boss is always angry at me; I’m always trying to appease him. My colleagues hate me. I pack my sad, sad desk lunch in my bag. As I eat by my sorry self (because no one likes me), I scroll through more happy Instagram photos… of others’ lives. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME??!? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS PATHETIC LIFE??!
Notice how you talk to yourself? When we think of our circumstances as something that has “happened” to us, we put ourselves in the position of victims, that we’ve been “forced” into these situations. When we tell ourselves that “today is going to suck”, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When something goes wrong today, no matter how big or small, it only proves us right! When we think nobody likes us, we tend to behave in a way that repels others; that’s why people end up avoiding us, or not inviting us to join them, because they think we are uninterested. When we tell ourselves we “must go to work”, our jobs become obligations, and we feel shackled and unhappy.
CHANGE the way you talk to yourself. Your thoughts may not suddenly be filled with rainbows and unicorns overnight, but you can start by telling yourself, “Today is going to be the best day of my life!” Even if you don’t believe it, the Universe is on your side; everything is conspiring to help you achieve your goals. Unless YOU try, your life will always remain the same.
3. “It’s very, VERY BAD.”
When we indulge in negativity, we may have a distorted perception of our problems. When we don’t see clearly, we may exaggerate the severity of the situation; we think our problems are bigger than they actually are.
When we think of a problem to be SO GREAT and insurmountable, we lose hopes of overcoming it. Since we’re so sure that our problems will exist indefinitely and we’ve got zero chance of defeating them, why bother? Just give up.
We may not realise that some of our “problems” only exist in our heads. We worry unnecessarily and make ourselves upset when there’s no cause to be negative. We trap ourselves in negativity! Even if our problems are real, things will only improve if we choose to confront them instead of allowing ourselves to feel defeated all the time.
4. “It’s TOO HARD to get back on my feet again!”
Having been stuck in negativity for a while, we feel like it’s too difficult to get back on our feet again. Life just isn’t the same as before. Things have changed – and boy do they look WORSE than ever! All this while, you’ve been wallowing in self-pity, envying others, wasting time lamenting about your “problems”, blaming “life” for “happening” to you… and then what? What have you gotten out of it? MORE SADNESS. MORE ANGER. MORE DISSATISFACTION.
Clearly, it’s not easy to leap out of this cycle which has become a part of your life. You may find it much easier to continue to be trapped, because thinking positive thoughts, having a new outlook on life? It’s just TOO MUCH EFFORT. In fact, feeling negative has become YOUR HABIT. Since it’s a habit, you can BREAK IT. You are NOT your negativity.
Remember – you always have a CHOICE. There are people nearing the end of their lives, WISHING they hadn’t wasted their time wallowing in negativity. There are people WONDERING what they lives would turn out to be, had they CHOSEN a different path, a brighter outlook. And then there’s YOU. What do YOU choose?